Day 23: another fucking airport, and a pretty damn good sandwich...

I always find myself staring when at airports. staring at the people complaining about pointless things. staring at couples arguing. staring at businessmen - who appear to look the same across the world, by the way. staring at those who stare at me... unless I am too busy trying to find sleep amongst the boarding calls and am drooling in a corner somewhere. airports are up there with asda (at 2am) for the prize for places most like death's waiting room.

here I am in Iceland... at Keflavik airport in reykjavik. my face is numb from all the plane and airport air. this fuckin' putrid airlock of a place. gah. but the sandwiches are good here. good like the French airport sandwiches. the fact that I am talking about airport sandwiches indicates the level of delirium I am experiencing right now.

death's waiting room sandwich...

I am desperate to open my duty free sealed bag and drink my rye whisky. ain't nothin' like alcohol to quash the heartache of a sleepless night. but it remains shut, as I am carrying twice the appropriate limit and hope to sneak through by looking bedraggled and ridiculous. it is an unstoppable plan I tell ya!

my current state is buoyed markedly by the fact I have been offered a lift back home from Glasgow airport... without which I would be the mad raving lunatic girl on the 3pm train from Glasgow Queen St. thank you ten million fold, D.

I would quite like to come back to Iceland for a visit actually, i suppose that's their cunning ploy really. i kinda like the idea of holidaying on mars! but wait, there's Berlin, Istanbul and Rome first. oh yeah, and my yearly trip to Paris...

the list is never-ending!

deliriously yours, O.

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Day 20-22: small town hickville vs. the big smoke...

I gotta say, it has been over all a really incredible tour... but here are a few of the thing I found hard...

1. the hicks - small towns are not used to people like me. fact. I have never, in all my days, in all the places I have travelled to, been stared at as much as I've been stared at in small town Canada. it can't be my boobs, cos it has been everyone staring, not just the blokes. and it's not just a passing glance... it's the full on, stop what you're doing, open gob, head-turn of a stare. I started to get self-conscious thinking that perhaps I had something on my face or something. my mum actually stopped and told a guy off for it in Amherst (the worst town so far for it's staring capabilities). the drive through options became more and more appealing after the servers at Tim Horton's would stare at me and slow the queue down.

alien, much?!

2. the food - north american food is SO unrefined. and everything is oversized, over-sweetened, over-processed, and under flavoured. I mean, I dig the occasional 'Oh Henry' chocolate bar, and I've even been known to partake in the occasional twizzler or two... but oh my, am I sick of the food here. the portions alone should be illegal!

on a positive note, I applaud the ready availability of bagels ALL the time... and their absolutely scintillating cracker selections ;-)

3. the Canadian reserve - Canadians, you guys need to lighten up, clap more vehemently, and show us performers how you really feel. it's no good coming up to us afterwards and extolling our virtues, cos by then we already feel shitty about it. show us your appreciation whilst we are ON STAGE! please? I now you are just so demure (except when it comes to staring it seems), but us UK performers like to feel the love DURING our performances, not just after ;-)

our fragile egos rely on it!

other than that, Canada, you have been a fuckin' honest to goodness pleasure.

amen!

I am spending my last 2 days in Halifax with my mum, staying at a swanky hotel and eating big city food, and shopping. we may even throw in a mani-pedi. yes, I shall finish how I began - spending more money than I have ;-)

one of many pairs of new shoes!

be home soon, Scotland.

graciously yours, O.

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Day 19 (11 July): the case of the Pictou poisoning...

the day of my last tour gig arrived and I was oh-so-pleased to find that my voice was intact (after having had a wee martini spree the night before)... and so away to Pictou County we drove.

Pictou - Hector Ship Museum

it was a fuckin' bonnie day at Pictou Marina, and the lovely (and dashingly handsome) Gavin, was there to help set up the PA for me.

the lovely Gavin

it was just lovely until the wind blew the pulp mill smog from waaaay over the other side of the harbour right into my face. every time I took a breath for a big note I got a wallop of it and nearly gagged. the poor town, having that hideous beast over the harbour from it. evil industry!

Replica of the Tall Ship, Hector

I finished 20 minutes early as a result, which I felt bad about, until I realized how scratchy my throat was and how much of a headache I had. Pictou, I love you, but did you have to poison me?! ;-)

my name on the marina schedule...

I had booked mum and I into Pictou Lodge, a beautiful spot by the bay... which used to be a hi-de-hi kinda holiday joint, and still has wee notes of it here and there, but has been upgraded and there are no loudspeakers that bellow 'hi-de-hi campers' at 8am. thank fuck.

view from the stage at Pictou Marina

so we got drunk in the lodge house and passed out from pulp poisoning... and maybe vodka.

dig it, Canada - you are all nice n' shit, and then you poison me on my way out ;-) haha, naw, I forgive ya ;-)

perpetually yours, O.

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Day 16-18: my last weekend...

there appears to be a lot of studying going on towards the end of this tour.  inevitable really, given my study schedule.  but this weekend has been about spending time with and saying goodbye to my family.  it'll be years before i get back here, so it was imperative that i found some time to spend with them.  half the weekend was so hot i had to resort to wearing a summer dress... shock horror!  and the other half was spent hiding from the rain that came arrived on saturday.  no doubt in sympathy for poor edinburgh, which witnessed icky flooding this week.  our rain only drizzled for a day though.  and it was sandwiched between 30 degree heat on friday and sunday.  so not too similar in reality!

i've spent a lot of time tinkering on my new guitar, sitting in the local cafe reading my uni books, drinking a lot of my brothers home-roasted coffee, and squishing mosquitoes.  the downside of heat is bugs!

i stayed friday night at my brothers beach cottage (a 'bach' for the kiwis, or a summer house for the rest of ya) - it reminded me of countless places we used to stay at as kids in NZ - cosy, homely, always slightly unfinished.

Mia the dog, at brother's cottage...

by saturday the rain hit (typical - i go to a beach and it rains!)...

15 out of the 18 days have been sweltering heat, so canada, you are forgiven!

i did fall a little bit in love while i was at the cottage though - his name is Sam, and his eyes are full of love for me...

and he did help me catch one of my favourite pics of the entire tour!  i may have to use this for an album cover or something.  compositionally it is fuckin' perfect. 

best pic ever. fact.

after saying goodbye to my brother and his family, i got down to some real studying... by that i mean that i downloaded a good book to my kindle app and sat out in the garden with my mum ;-)



mum's house and garden

i was pleased to find that after many years of vegetarianism, my mum now eats meat.  good girl.  and check out this 6.5kg steak that she bought at the local market... for only $10...

tilt your head, the rotation plug-in ain't working!

tomorrow we leave for Pictou - where i sing for 2 hours at a marina.  it was the famous lobster carnival all weekend, so i may have no audience, but hell, what a place for a gig eh!  here's an audience pic taken of me at Stan Fest - thanks to Paula for this one.

we then have a couple of days in the city of Halifax - where i have to pick up the travel case for my new guitar, eat a lot of nice food, and say goodbye to my tour!

see you on the flipside, bitches.

emphatically yours, O.

Day 15 (7 July): a gig in the new weeg ;-)

the settlers must've been awfully proud of their homeland when they arrived in nova scotia, cos not only did they call it new scotland, but they also called a town new glasgow. as if one glasgow wasn't enough ;-) I jest. I love you, glasgow!

I played tonight in the town of new glasgow, in an ex-church, alongside a fabulous local singer/songwriter - Jenny MacDonald. we were essentially the entertainment for a supper club. do we have them in scotland? where people play to eat and hear music. it was quite lovely. although I was given instructions not to swear cos there was a priest's birthday party in for the night ;-) I complied, but only because they were such a lovely audience. haha, I'm getting soft in my old age! it was actually mainly cos I needed the paycheck from this, having blown my budget on the spontaneous guitar purchase.

I got to play the new guitar in public for the first time tonight. ace. she's fucking gorgeous to play. j'adore. I haven't named her yet, but her name will come to me. it's a bit like naming a child really ;-)

a big thank you to Jim Dorie for hooking me up with this gig. 'twas a pleasure. oh, yeah, a big thank you to my mum and chris for ferrying me round the country yet again too ;-)

so here's the proof that I am not just a pretty face - I did some tiling for one of my mum's rental properties... I is paying my way I is ;-)

oh, and check out my mum's garden - isn't it tres gorgeous?!? we had a BBQ last night - fresh clams, grilled chicken and sweet potato. awesome. got to catch up with my step-sister and her husband too. sometimes having a night of normal amongst the rock n' roll is a good thing.

gah. what'd I tell you - I'm going soft in my old age ;-)

tomorrow I head to the beach cottage with my brother. I hope to have a water-balloon war with my niece and nephew and hopefully also see some hummingbirds. my needs are simple and few at this juncture.

efficiently yours, O.


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Day 13-14: the case of the accidental guitar...

so, this down time has been utterly perfect - I was emotionally and physically exhausted. it is good to know what my touring parameters are for the future! but I'm glad I had the opportunity to have a few days off.

I am currently covered in tiling grout and silicone, having done a tiling job for my mum. not the lazy days I'd imagined, but there's been plenty of time for that too. it's amazing how much time is worth when you are not in your usual environs!

so, yesterday I went into a musical instrument shop, just cos I didn't fancy trekking round Home Hardware with my mum... and there I met head of the guitar dept, Blair - the guitar savant of Moncton NB. seriously, this man chatted to me briefly, asked me a few questions, showed me a couple of guitars and then said 'wait there, I have exactly the guitar that fits your personality'... and handed me a Canadian maple and rosewood Seagull (Godin). now, it doesn't look like my style of guitar, there's nothing fancy about it... it is understated in very pale maple... but then you play it and by god it shines. I can honestly say it's the best sounding guitar I have ever heard or played! so, I sat for nearly an hour playing her... falling in love with her... and then another 45 mins shuffling money around in my head trying to figure out a way to buy her! an hour and £550 quid later, she was mine. and I was broke. but I didn't care ;-)

let's hope I sell some more CDs at my gig in New Glasgow tomorrow to help pay for her!

bringing two guitars home may be a logistical nightmare, but I have this cunning plan to strap them together into one double-guitar beast to get around luggage allowances. we'll see if that works eh!?!

so, yeah, I now need to sell my awesome Peavey Rockingham jazz body semi... I love her, but don't use her to her full potential... and can't justify keeping all 4 guitars, especially when I can't afford to! £270 ono...

I only have 2 more tour dates left - tomorrow at Celtic Circle in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia, and then on the 11th at Pictou Marina.  i will spend this weekend with my brother at his holiday cottage by the beach, and then the last couple of days in Halifax (an actual city ;-) with my mum - catching up with all the promoters and people who have helped me book this tour.

taking the time to reflect a little, i've got to say that this tour has taught me loads - about booking venues overseas, about different audiences, and about being versatile - i knew i could be, but this really made me up my game.  to any of my muso friends pondering a tour like this - it ain't easy, and you had better be on fire, cos what works for the same old edinburgh audiences every week WILL NOT work everywhere and you had better be prepared!  and have a healthy supply of cash and red bull ;-)

tangentially yours, O.

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Day 11-12: returning from the fest. uploading videos. and studying!

i had the ultimate north american driving experience yesterday - i drove my mum's gigantic chrysler, whilst eating jerky, and using cruise control.  ace.

i'm having a few days off, and have a lot of videos to upload and admin to catch up on, not to mention the giant uni textbook i also have to find time to read.  you know when you stop and everything you haven't had time to think about or deal with comes flooding into your head at once and your downtime suddenly becomes therapy time?  yeah?  well that's me right now.  7 gigs in 9 days and travelling somewhere in the region of 4,500 miles has left me in the 'tour daze' - that state that renders you unable to tell what city you are in, who you are, or what the fuck you are doing.

and all of a sudden i miss people and things and stuff that i shouldn't.  and i want my own bed and a cuddle with moose.  and space.  i didn't realise how much time i spend alone and how much i fuckin' love it until i didn't have the option to be alone anymore.

don't get me wrong.  this tour has been fuckin' awesome.  i'm just tired and need a couple of days to re-group.  maybe buy some shoes.  maybe eat some poutine and other canadian niceties.
here are some tour videos for you.  tuck in, babies!

Dimes - live at the Stan Rogers Folk Festival - 2 July 2011

Foolish - live at the Stan Rogers Folk Festival - 2 July 2011

Yumi - live at Joey's, Sackville - 30 June 2011

Gabriel - live at Wilsers Room, Fredericton - 28 June 2011

Stiletto - live at Graffiti, Toronto - 25 June 2011

technologically yours, O.

Day 10 (2 July): Stan-muthafuckin`-fest!

consider Stanfest slayed - SLAYED! as i sit here (on a wee hill overlooking the main stage), listening to Gabriel Yacoub and reflecting on what has been an amazing day, it occurs to me how lucky i am to be here.

i sang on the Fox Island stage at 1pm with 5 other `tweeners` (the song contest winners), to an audience of a couple hundred people.  it was feckin`awesome!  i had a lot of great feedback afterwards - including people jumping out at me all day telling me how much they loved it.  to those lovely folk - thank you.  and thanks to everyone who bought my CDs (it paid for my hotel)!  oh yeah, i also had Stan Rogers`cousin, Hartley, come up and get his copy of my CD signed - frickin`awesome!

video of the performance will be forthcoming!

we had special performer passes, so we stayed all day and enjoyed the music and brilliant atmosphere.  highlights for me were The Divorcees (the lead singer was all kinds of hillbilly HOT), Peter Yarrow (from Peter, Paul & Mary), and The United Steel Workers of Montreal.  awesome choons, pals!

The Divorcees leadsinger

Peter Yarrow

apparently the weather is very rarely sunny for Stanfest - but this year we got a doozy - beautiful hot sun and a lovely sea breeze all day... i particularly like this pic of mum in her gigantic sun hat...

much of the day was spent under my improvised parasol (mum`s umbrella), laying in the sun near the wee daytime music stages - bliss...

we stuck around for the first few acts of the main stage action from 7pm - i had a perverse desire to see The Crash Test Dummies play.  curiosity got the better of me.  turns out they were not only rubbish, but were condescending to their audience and it made me cringe!

a huge thanks to the Stanfest crew and judges for choosing me as a `tweener`, to the sound crew who made us all sound ace, and to mum for driving 5 hours out of her way to make sure i got to do this gig!  utterly fuckin`awesome.

to my new fans - welcome! 

sarcastically yours, O.

Day 9: the day of awesome...

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

aside from waking up with a dehydration headache thanks to the heat, today has been made of awesome!  starting the day by getting a tattoo is a fucking good way to begin!

my grandmother used to sing rhymes to me as we picked convolvulus flowers (or pop-grannies as we used to call them).  then my mum ended up getting this flower tattooed on her when i was 14... so it seemed only right to get one too.  and i kinda fancied getting something girlie for a change too.  the perfect woman for the job was Moorea Hum in Sackville - great rep and a delicacy to her work that i loved.  here is the result...

then i slothed about reading my book (thanks to Justin Anderson for giving me the first edit of his book to devour - it`s great!)  and then discovered that the PRS had paid me 120 quid for singing 13 songs back in 2009!  love it.  tattoo paid for - BOOM!

then mum and i hit the road - driving 4 hours south east towards Canso.  handheld iPhone self portraits rawk ;-)

we are staying at a wee backwater motel about an hour away from the festival - anything closer is booked wayyy far in advance!

i feel like i`m on a little canadian treasure island - it`s tres pretty.  just beyond the curve in the bay is the Canso Causeway - the road that links Nova Scotia mainland with Cape Breton.

it has been a day of indulgence and sloth - poifect!

abundantly yours, O.

Day 8: cheese whizz. more driving. and the big little gig...

my bro and i stayed at the illustrious Amsterdam Inn in Quispamsis last night... now, if you knew exactly how tiny and insignificant Quispamsis is, you'd know how rare it is to find a hotel in a place like that.  hey had a decent breakfast buffet - but on the side we found tiny hotel portions of cheese whizz.  for those who don't know, cheese whizz is an entirely artificial, bright orange 'cheese' that usually comes in an aerosol can!  it is vile.  it should be studied in a lab, NOT consumed.  especially not on decent bagels.  oh canada!

so, today's stop was Sackville, NB - home to Mt. Allison university, a couple thousand people, a lotta groundhogs, and my mum.  a little town that just happened to put on a BIG show.  the vene, Joey's, was packed (thanks to mum!), and i had a great laugh with the audience - they even demanded the orgasm song - bless ;-)

and thanks to this gig my iPad is now nearly paid off, and i can afford to pay for the tattoo i`m getting tomorrow!

i feel like i`m cheating on my tattooist, Erik... and i suppose i am - but this lassie has come highly recommended.  i am getting a convolvulus vine tattooed along my right collar bone. dig.

tomorrow we head 4 hours south east to Canso for The Stan Rogers Folk Festival!  it`ll be a no-wifi weekend, so i`ll catch you on the flipside, muthafuckas!

`BOOMìngly yours, O.

Day 7: cross country. record store busking. and hitting hampton...

today we hit saint john... a wee record store called Backstreet Records to be precise. I even had a special sign out front ;-)


I played a wee set outside, and played mostly to the tourists off the visiting cruise ship - it was the American dollar note that ended up in my guitar case that gave it away ;-)


thanks to Gordie for hosting me at Backstreet Records!


after a burger and sweet potato fries, which can only be described as fuckin' incredible, we headed to our hotel in quispamsis. my brother is currently playing roadie and chauffeur. tres cool.

I love the cars here - they are huge and gaudy and probably are partly do blame for the fuel crisis - but oh so sexy...


gig no.5 was at Shiretown Pub in Hampton and was a last minute arrangement thanks to a double booking - it was a little slow and scary to begin with - but the audience were just fuckin' great - and if any of you guys read this, thank you so much for making it a great night. thanks to Ed and Brendon for their hospitality - small town Canada is cool. this pic sums up my day pretty well... a little hungover, a little smarmy, with a dash of mischief thrown in ;-)


there is one thing that Canada does really well - amusing names for things - check out this candy ;-)


I was pleased to also find that our breakfast diner was fittingly called 'Hannah's Breakfast' ;-) ...


small things amuse small minds n' all that ;-)

anyway. I'm fuckin' exhausted. one more gig in Sackville before a 'day off'. by 'day off' I mean that I don't have a gig, but we'll be driving to a gig, so I don't know how much of a day off it'll be!

onwards, comrades!

despicably yours, O.

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Day 5 & 6: reconnecting. stanfest. and an alien audience...

family time. not something I'm very used to. but seeing my brother's family after nearly 3 years has been great. the kids and I have been making up songs about being weirdos (their idea!) and a wee star wars ditty - coming up with a catchy melody for the chorus of 'help me obi wan kenobi, you're my only hope' has been a bit of a curse, as it's now stuck in my head!

we went to the park for a picnic today (in the 30 degree heat ;-)) - I am not quite used to it yet, and am certainly not dressed for it most of the time - but I fuckin' dig not being cold! their dog, Mia, is the polar opposite of Moose - she is quiet, well behaved, and shy... but so so sweet...





i got an email this morning telling me that I had been successful in the competition to play the Stan Rogers Folk Festival this weekend! OMG! I'd given up hope of playing, so now I have to figure out how to get there - it's 4.5hrs drive from my mum's house ($130 petrol), so for only a couple of songs, it's a long way to travel, but it will be great exposure. it's gonna be ace!

so, I've gotta say, touring in another country is hard... I'm finding the Canadian audiences very different from UK ones... and it is making me feel a bit alien. weirdly though, even though I'm not feeling the love whilst playing, they are buying my CDs and complimenting me afterwards... so perhaps it's just that they aren't the rowdy clapping types? gah, I dunno... it's a huge learning curve and i am just a little unnerved by it at this juncture. hopefully by the end of the tour I will have mastered it... just in time to un-learn it again for the UK audiences! it's a bit scary when your tried and tested banter falls on it's face and you have to speed read an audience to try to gauge a good level for them in a matter of songs, before losing them to the dark side. tiring. good for me.

thanks to Richard Gloade and Wilsers Room, Fredericton, for having me tonight. tomorrow I do my first 'in-store' at Backstreet Records in Saint John at midday, then play Hampton, NB in the evening. big day. mmm, hangover.






contemplatively yours, O.

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Day 4 (26th June): the day of tourism, misogyny and heat...

I wrote a whole big blog during the day, but in a huge technological fail both on my part (I forgot to save the first draft), and cos my blogger app choked, I lost it all... a number of times. If this version doesn't work I may well kill someone...

Day 4: Toronto -
So, I hit town and sat about in gardens listening to jazz and digging the heat (25 degrees)... Saw the CN tower (didn't go up cos it cost $54), but took the obligatory ominous shot...



And then perved at the Rogers Centre (home of the Bluejays - yay for baseball!)



And look, I found a street just for Duncan - he'd better come claim it before some other pesky Duncan gets there first ;-)


Tucking into the biggest salad in the world in the beer garden of the wonderful Black Bull Tavern (a good pub in every country it seems!), I came across a table of arseholes so arseholish that I coulda sworn they were British - although at least the brits are a little more honest about their misogyny - these guys were being cunts and then telling everyone to shut up when their girlfriends called to make sure they weren't caught out.



But my salad, sweet potato fries, and this cute statue cheered me up...



I suppose I was just shocked cos I was under the impression that all Canadians were awesome and lovely... Then again I'd never been to Toronto!

However my second gig at the TRANZAC was lovely AND awesome! Thank you to Sara Kamin and Amy Campbell for playing too. Utter pleasure.



Wistfully yours, O.

P.s. I LOATHE the fact that my iPad has decided to capitalize for me... Must fix this at once!

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Day 3: let the holiday (tour) commence...

beginning the day by getting a pedicure is more of an indulgence than I expected, but my longterm Internet penpal, Cheryl, decided to treat me. j'adore! see, Cheryl and I have been pen-friends for 16yrs... my brother has met her, but until yesterday I had not met her in person. it was fuckin' ace to finally get the chance. it was actually not a shock to the system - I mean, after 16yrs, it's hard not to feel comfortable with someone ;-)

I will post pics of us once I get them from other cameras! in the meantime, here is her dog, Charlie, again!



a wee bout of shoe shopping, and an iPad shopping experience (which wasn't all I was hoping it would be, but I have my iPad, so I can't complain), and I have discovered that this country is severely backward in it's mobile technology and data plans. so, anyone in the UK complaining - stop it right now! these guys don't even have unlimited data packages on their mobiles, OR interprovincial messaging that doesn't cost the earth. seriously retarded.

so, my plan to be a mobile rocumentary genius has been stifled somewhat! bah!

here is pic of the drunken bum outside my sheraton.... big cities, huh!?



view from my hotel window...


Sheraton- 'you belong' .... erm, I don't think so ;-)


my first gig was at graffiti in chinatown, Toronto. mad crazy. I felt a little disillusioned at first cos I didn't immediately 'feel the love', but hey, I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park. one down, many to go. hurdles? I squish thee!



they survived 'stiletto'! but only just ;-)



so I sold some CDs, drank a few jacks, and scared a few Canadians - all in all, a soul-shifting experience. thank you to Russell Leon and Graffiti for breaking me in...

i am back off to my hotel now via china town and hopefully some kind of kebab!

remarkably still yours, O.

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